This blog was my response to a friend about forgiveness....
Forgiveness…
I can give you a few scriptures to describe some of God’s advice but this will mostly be my opinion.
Forgiveness is a tough thing. For the most part, there really is no such thing as “forgive and forget”. You can and should forgive but just like when we’ve repented of our sins, we still usually face the consequences of what needed to be forgiven in the first place. I do firmly believe in “you reap what you sow”. Even though I live a totally different lifestyle than I did 12+ years ago, I’m still dealing with some of the consequences of the bad seed I’ve sowed in my past but I’m beginning to see more and more fruit from the good seed I’ve planted…. I just have to continue to plow through what some would say “the bad karma”.
Forgiveness is very similar in the fact that if someone hurts you (thus needing forgiveness), you may be mature enough to forgive the person and move on but the pain inflicted (seed sown/memories) will still remain for a period of time. You just have to make sure that you truly forgive that person (whether they truly apologize or not) and make sure bitterness doesn’t rise up when you think about the effects or else you are in sin too! You have to remember that the other person is not really accountable to you (in the big picture) and the only thing that you can control is your own personal attitude/actions towards the situation.
I’m fairly good at forgiving and moving on but I do struggle sometimes. For instance, I still struggle with pain from my past and present with the drunk driver who jacked up my sleep, my body, and my life. It’s hard to let it go when I’m reminded of it daily but the main thing for me is realizing that there is nothing that I can do to change the past…only the future. For offenders that you’ll never see again…let it go…move on! For offenders (like family/friends) that you want to reconcile with, you have to give it time. For the mental aspect….I’ve learned that if you don’t let it go, you give the other person continuous power over you (and they probably moved on a long time ago or don’t even recognize that there is a problem). For the physical aspect…. You just have to deal with the results (the cards you’ve been dealt) but don’t compound the problem with the mental aspect and bitterness.
My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the foundation on which I am able to release many things including my pain and burdens which gives me tremendous peace in crazy situations. It’s hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it but it’s as if a weight is lifted off of you when you release those burdens to the Lord. God is not a “genie in a bottle” that will fix all your problems (especially if you haven’t confessed that He is your Lord and Savior). Sometimes we go through things so that we can be strengthened for other things we may go through in the future and we can use those experiences to help out someone else in their time of need!
Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” – we all need forgiveness for something!
John 16:33 “…in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – Jesus even said we will have trouble but He is bigger than our troubles….just trust Him
Jeremiah 17:10 “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve” – it’s out of your hands for other people’s judgment… but it’s in your hands for your own.